Couples therapy at https://lookingglassnyc.com/ can be a powerful step toward healing, strengthening, and deepening a relationship. But just like any other form of counseling, it works best when you find the right therapist and come prepared. Before you walk into your first session, it’s important to ask the right questions—both of yourself and your potential therapist. Doing so can help ensure you’re making the most of your time, money, and emotional investment.
Here are seven key questions to ask before starting couples therapy:
1. What are our goals for therapy?
Before beginning, sit down with your partner and discuss what you each hope to get out of therapy. Are you looking to improve communication? Heal from infidelity? Manage ongoing conflict? Identifying shared or individual goals will give therapy a clearer direction—and help you gauge whether it’s working over time.
2. Are we both equally committed to the process?
Therapy works best when both partners are open, engaged, and willing to change. It’s okay to feel nervous or skeptical, but a lack of commitment from one side can stall progress. Be honest with each other about your intentions. If one person is hesitant, it’s worth exploring those feelings before you dive in.
3. What kind of therapist is the best fit for us?
Not all therapists have the same style or approach. Some are more structured and goal-oriented, while others focus on deeper emotional exploration. Look into common approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, or Imago Relationship Therapy to see what resonates with you. You may also want to consider logistics like gender, cultural background, or whether the therapist offers in-person or virtual sessions.
4. What are the therapist’s qualifications and experience with couples?
Couples therapy requires specialized training. Don’t hesitate to ask a potential therapist about their credentials, years of experience, and specific work with couples. A good therapist won’t be offended—they’ll respect your desire to find someone qualified to support your relationship.
5. How does the therapist handle conflict in sessions?
Some sessions can get emotional or tense. Ask your therapist how they typically manage disagreements in real time. Do they interrupt to de-escalate arguments? Do they allow space for both partners to speak equally? Their answer can give you insight into their style and how safe you’ll feel during sessions.
6. What is the structure and length of therapy?
It’s helpful to know what to expect in terms of session frequency, duration, and overall commitment. Some couples may see results in a few months, while others benefit from long-term therapy. Ask your therapist how they typically structure the process and how they measure progress.
7. What happens if we don’t agree on everything in therapy?
Therapy isn’t about one partner being “right” and the other being “wrong.” A good therapist should create a balanced space where both people feel heard. Ask how they maintain neutrality and what happens if disagreements come up about what’s being discussed or suggested in therapy.